My buddy Rob just tipped me off to almost the perfect contest for me. Every year at San Diego Comic Con, there’s a huge blood donor drive. And this year, anyone donating blood will get the chance to enter a raffle to win a Captain America-painted Honda Element! I’ll let that sink in. Here, this’ll help. An actual image of the far from subdued prize:

I can’t imagine anyone on the planet wanting to drive this thing around. Other than me, that is. Being a big Captain America fan, I’d love it. And coming from a guy who still has his denim jacket from the ’80s covered in Twisted Sister and Dee Snider patches, I pretty much have no shame.

So why am I ticked off at this contest? Because I have a history of fainting when I give blood. And I”m not talking about blood donating, I’m talking about a basic blood test you get at your doctors. Yeah, yeah. I’m a wuss. I know. I don’t want to faint, it just happens. Happened probably about 3 or 4 times in my life, though there were half a dozen other times I felt it coming on, but stopped it in time somehow. So I don’t think I’ll be entering this here contest. (Although there is a “no purchase necessary” clause. So maybe I still can…)  But yeah, I can totally picture my bad-ass self pulling up to the drive-through window at White Castle in this sucker. Ah, to (American) dream…